How Can We Keep Our Fires Burning? The Battle to Sustain Motivation

 We’re rolling along like a freight train toward the holiday season.  In fact, many would say it was already here.  I walked through the mall last week on my way to get a haircut and was mildly surprised to see all of the holiday decorations on display.  What’s your plan for the holidays?  Have you figured out what (and when) you are going to buy for whom?  Most importantly, have you figured out how you are going to keep your stress levels in check as you spend money, fight the crowds, and visit the family?  

Over the last month, I have been discussing motivation with my students.  Rather than discussing how one obtains the motivation to begin a project or conquer a challenge, we have been focusing on how one can actually sustain motivation.  This topic came about because many of my students these days are incarcerated at the Norfolk County House of Correction and have shared their difficulties with being able to remain in recovery from their various addictions despite the best of intentions.  Today, I would like to share with you some of the reasons they gave me for losing their motivation, and then I’ll share some of their thoughts about how to sustain motivation.   

Why Do People Lose Motivation?

Here are some of the psychological motivation killers offered by my students last month:

1)      Stress – This was, by far, the most frequently mentioned motivation murderer in every class session.  Several people agreed that while it was easy to get motivated for change initially, it was difficult to sustain motivation as they were faced with the challenges and pressures of everyday life.  These challenges included finances, employment searches, and relationships, to name a few. 

2)      Energy Levels – Some men shared that they often found that their motivation waned as they experienced fatigue.  It seems that the fatigue could be either psychological or physical and could be caused by erratic sleep patterns, physical exertion, or boredom. 

3)      Other Priorities – Inadequate planning and poor time management were offered up as issues related to challenges with sustaining motivation.  We often have a lot of things we have to accomplish, and sometimes these tasks with the activities we want to do.  Unless we plan accordingly and effectively plan our priorities, our project or endeavor may be pushed to the side in favor of tasks of lesser importance.

4)      Work – Unless we are collecting social security or disability or we are independently wealthy, we are all obligated to work until we reach retirement age or die.  The time we spend at work, and the time we spend commuting to work, can sap us of the time and energy required to accomplish our goals and objectives. 

5)      Relationships – Some of the men that participated in the brainstorming sessions mentioned that women often got in the way of their ability to sustain their motivation, but most agreed that we could broaden that out a bit and include relationships in general.  Dysfunctional relationships can affect our moods, which in turn can affect our ability to sustain our motivation to do what we need to do in order to achieve what we set out to accomplish.

6)      Addictions / Compulsive Behaviors – These can include addictions to drugs or alcohol, or compulsive behaviors that include internet usage, video games, overeating, frequent sex, shopping, or even working.  We often fall back on addictions and compulsive behaviors in order to avoid the hard work of those tasks that can be truly meaningful once we see them through. 

7)      Self-Defeatist Attitude – In my discussions with students, we ended up labeling this obstacle many different names including “cognitive distortions,” “seemingly unimportant decisions (SUDS),” and “stinking thinking,” to name a few.  All of these terms refer to the negative things we say to ourselves that then allow us to push back the things we must do to reach our goals. 

8)      Need for Instant Gratification – Increasingly, we are a society that demands what we want when we want it and we are often unwilling to put in the time and the energy to work for what we desire to achieve.  We become impatient when we do not see results immediately and then we often give up on our goals.

9)      Fear of Failure / Success – Sometimes we fail to maintain our motivation because we fear failure.  We may have failed many times in the past and we doubt our ability to succeed or we may buy into others’ opinions about our chances for success.  Conversely, we may fear success because we may wonder if we will really enjoy attaining our goals or end up longing for our old lifestyle. 

10)   Failure to Plan – Many fail because they have not taken the time to strategically plan to succeed.  Failure to plan, many people have said, is the same thing as planning to fail.  

What Are Strategies We Can Employ to Better Sustain Our Motivation?

1)      Probably the most important strategy is to commit to your goal.  It may not be enough to simply declare it to yourself; many have found it helpful to declare their goal to at least one other person. 

2)      Create a strategic plan and expect it to be dynamic, meaning the plan may have to be adjusted because life is unpredictable and situations may change. 

3)      Write down your goals and objectives.  This will help you to visualize your goal.  The clearer you can see it, the easier it will be to achieve it. 

4)      Create daily reminders and make sure you look at them every day.  This will help you to keep your “eyes on the prize.” 

5)      Be grateful, every day.  Remember that whatever challenges you are facing, you are alive to face them and that’s worth savoring each day we are alive.

6)      Maintain positivity.  You won’t succeed if you don’t believe in your ability to succeed.  Some ways to stay positive include surrounding yourself with other people who have positive attitudes. 

7)      Practice discipline.  Develop a routine that focuses on daily tasks that, with consistency, will lead you toward your goal. 

8)      Establish a daily routine in which you structure your time around taking care of whatever needs to be addressed in order to make things happen.

9)      Learn to prioritize the things you need to do versus the things you want to do.  All too often, we tend to gravitate to those things we like to do when we should be focusing on more productive behaviors.  It’s worth remembering that there is always a sense of accomplishment when we are able to check off an important task off of our “to do” list. 

10)   Seek out support.  Get over your reluctance to asking for assistance when you need it.  There is rarely a need to invent the wheel if it already exists and odds are that there are at least some people out there that have accomplished what you seek to complete.  Build your support system and remember that giving back is just as important as receiving help from others. 

11)   Reward yourself for accomplishing your objectives.  This tip is sort of tricky, because there is a danger of going overboard with your rewards.  While you are celebrating your accomplishments, never lose sight of what still remains to be done in order to complete and sustain your goal.

Obviously, there is a lot more we could add to these lists.  What challenges do you face when you strive to accomplish your goals?  What strategies have worked for you as you have worked to sustain your motivation?  Leave a comment!  Thanks for reading. 

 

This past weekend, a sixty-four year-old woman swam from the shores of Cuba to Key West, Florida without the protection of a shark cage.  It wasn’t her first attempt; in fact, Diana Nyad had tried to accomplish the same swim four times before.  This time, she successfully completed the 110 mile distance in fifty-three hours and she couldn’t be happier. 

There is no way Ms. Nyad could have completed her goal without total dedication to the task.  After all, she had failed her first four attempts.  But something inside this woman would not let her give up.  It probably didn’t hurt that she is an author, journalist, and motivational speaker, because she most certainly realized she could use her experiences as she strives to motivate others to set goals and work to achieve them. 

Her accomplishment was no easy task.  On her first four previous attempts, she had to endure wind shifts, dehydration, jellyfish stings all over her body and even in her mouth, and sheer physical and emotional exhaustion.  She learned much from her first four attempts and planned accordingly for this last swim.  Her plan included assembling a team of thirty-five people who assisted her by checking on weather conditions, feeding her and making sure she was hydrated, monitoring her physical and mental states, and even plucking jellyfish out of the waters ahead of her as she swam. 

I have been talking about Ms. Nyad's historic swim this past week in my class sessions at the jail because her story so closely parallels those who are challenged by goals they strive to achieve. Ms. Nyad failed to complete the swim from Cuba to Key West four times previously, and yet she viewed it important enough to try once more. This time, she took the time to assess the obstacles and plan accordingly. In addition, she thoughtfully assembled a support team that would support her under any conditions. Her success emphasizes that people can accomplish anything they wish as long as they are committed, they have a well-thought out plan, and a strong team of supporters who are willing to help when things get tough. 

All too often, many of us end up throwing in the towel when we fail. Use Diana Nyad's story to inspire you to realize and remember that all is possible as long as we truly want to succeed, we have a plan for success, and we stay connected with those who support us. Now get out there and make things happen! 

What's Your Perception?

It’s been a busy summer.   I took a job as a substance abuse counselor at a county jail here in Massachusetts and it’s been quite a while since I have worked in a correctional facility.  Although the money isn’t great, the job suits me because it allows me to work with men, many of whom lack any knowledge about emotional management.  I have come to believe that most men who find themselves incarcerated are there because they reacted to negative feelings, rather than thinking about the way they feel and taking the time to assess and strategize a response to those feelings.  

I’m fond of telling guys that our perceptions are our realities.  We react to various stimuli that come at us from every direction based upon our assumptions and our past experiences with those stimuli.  Through our experiences, we often develop biases about people, places, things, and events.  For example, I had a bias about correctional officers before I began working at this particular facility, and that bias told me that most correctional officers were cynical and unfriendly people.  I attributed their cynicism to the nature of their jobs, and my opinion was based upon my experiences working at other facilities where I found many correctional employees wearing their negative emotions on their sleeves.  

Fortunately, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the overwhelming majority of correctional employees here at the facility that currently employs me are not only friendly, but they will go out of their way to help when help is needed.  One young officer even approached me two days ago and introduced himself to me by name, and that was something that I had NEVER experienced in a jail before.   As a result of my new experiences at my new place of employment, I have had to rethink my biases about correctional employees, which has taught me that perhaps some prisons and jails are more pleasant places to work at than others.  

Bias can certainly be a cause of negative thinking, but there are many more.  Buying into labels can be just as damning.  For example, perhaps you have set a goal for yourself in the past and have told others about it, only to be told that you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough, ambitious enough, or strong enough to accomplish that goal.  Or, maybe someone has called you lazy or unmotivated in the past, and you have allowed those labels to sink into your brain and influence the way you see yourself.  I see a lot of that at the jail.  Many inmates have been labeled losers, or junkies, or addicts by their families and their “friends” following their troubles with law enforcement and consequently have learned to see themselves as those labels.  It doesn’t have to be that way.  Your perception is your reality.  If you see yourself as a loser, then you most assuredly have the potential to live up to that label.  But what if you refused to buy into the negative labels others have place upon you, or you have placed upon yourself?  

The last thinking error I will discuss today is rationalizing.  When we rationalize, we are basically finding a way to lie to ourselves that in turn allows us to either do something, or not do something.  Rationalizing allows us to break our own rules.  If I tell myself at the beginning of the week that I am not going to spend any money on coffee at the many coffee shops in my hometown, and then two days later I find myself in the drive-thru line at Dunkin Donuts after telling myself I deserve “this one coffee” because I only slept four hours the night before, I have rationalized away my commitment to stay away spending money unnecessarily at coffee shops.  Or, if I tell myself that I am going to go the gym on Monday night after work and then I talk myself out of it by telling myself I would have a better workout the next morning rather than on Monday night, then I have rationalized my not following through on my commitment to myself.  In essence, we end up changing our perceptions of the importance of our goals in order to free ourselves up to not follow through with them.  

Although I am not always successful, I strive to perceive people places, things, and circumstances in a positive manner because looking at them negatively does not help me accomplish my goals.  I’d be the first one to tell you that our perceptions usually do not change overnight, but they are worth considering because the way you look at things, or at yourself, may be holding you back from reaching your true purpose in life.  After all, we only go around once here! 

Pick Up Your Damn Self

So, the news isn’t good.  The American economy is struggling and our government seems to want to spend time focusing on trivial and noncontroversial matters rather than tackle those challenges that are putting every American on edge.  It would be very easy to blame these and other issues for what ails us.  After all, the stuff we hear and read about in the news is damned depressing at times and it’s real easy for some of us to take a victim’s approach and freeze in response to the chaos that resides all around us.  

You need to shake that shit off and here’s why:  there will always be chaos and confusion because that is what life is.  There are always going to be situations or events that have the potential to cause us fear but you need to realize that YOU control your emotions!  Yes, that’s right: you can wallow in the muck of your own self-defeatist attitude or you can tell yourself that life is too damn short to be unhappy or fearful.  There is absolutely no doubt that we as individuals are not in control of everything that happens in our world, but there is equally no doubt that we can control how we respond to those happenings.  Attitude is everything.  The trick is that one’s attitude can be great one day and simply crappy the next day.  The solution is to develop ways to pick up your damn self when your attitude is wavering.  Here are some suggestions:

·         Use Positive Self-Talk – Do you ever listen to the thoughts that go on in your head?  You can control those thoughts, you know.  When you notice the negativity creeping into your cognitive processing, work to replace them with thoughts that will motivate you to push through the negativity.  For example, instead of dreading a particular task that lies in front of you, think about how good you will feel when you complete that task.  

·         Smile – It’s amazing how a simple physical act can change one’s whole perspective.  Next time you are feeling angry, or fearful, or confused, simply smile and notice how your mood changes.  Smile at others when you are out and about and notice how your smile affects them.  After all, whatever you are feeling at any moment is only temporary because situations change, and smiling can connect you to a better emotional state that can carry you through those inevitable rough spots we all encounter in our lives.  

·         Reach out – It is not at all uncommon for people to isolate when they are feeling negative emotions, and that can be beneficial for a while because sometimes we need time by ourselves to figure out how best to move ahead.  But isolation is not good for a long time because you need to surround yourself with people who will support you and encourage you to succeed, no matter what.  In addition to getting support, you will be able to lend support to others, which will only strengthen your own self-worth because helping others makes us feel good.  

·         Move – It takes energy to pick up your damn self.  Sometimes, we can get too comfortable sitting around wallowing in our own trivial tasks we tell ourselves are important, knowing full well that they are not important and the only reason we are doing them is to avoid what truly needs to be done.  Stand up, take inventory, and then figure out the one thing you can do today that will serve to move you toward a solution to at least one of your challenges.  Nothing gets accomplished without action.  So get up, do a couple of jumping jacks to get the blood flowing, and get moving.

·          Be Grateful – Although you have undoubtedly taken a few tumbles along your journey, I would bet that there are people, places, and things in your life that give you pleasure.  As I am sitting here typing this, I am witnessing the end of a day that brought me more than my share of headaches, but I also had a humorous conversation with my brother and I reached out and sent some family photos to people that I love.  Tonight, I will eat two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and then watch a bit of the Bruins playoff game against the Penguins.  I still face many challenges this week (and it’s Thursday already!), but I am thankful for the little joys that life brings me every day.  

·         Seek Inspiration – There are sources of inspiration all around you.  Trust me on this.  There are books, websites, and podcasts that are designed specifically to inspire you, and there are many examples in every community that demonstrate how people are living their dreams.    Your mission is to tap into some of the many resources available.  I’d tell you where to look specifically, but you know where to look.  Use Google.  Take a walk down the main drag in your town.  Visit a bookstore, if you can still find one.  

Well, there you have it.  I just picked up my damn self and finished this blog posting and I am feeling darn glad I did.  If I can do it, so can you!

The Benefits of Eating a Plant-Based Diet

Most Americans have been raised on meat, poultry, and fish.  As soon as we are old enough to chew our food, our caretakers typically begin to introduce foods to us that come from the animal kingdom.  We’re not really given a choice; in fact, I can remember many times over the course of my childhood and adolescence being told that I would not be able to go out and play after dinner unless I finished the food on my plate.  We’re trained to eat what is put in front of us from an early age and to refrain from actually putting much thought into just what we are eating.  But what if all we thought we knew about food were stretches of truth?  What if beef, poultry, and fish weren’t really that good for us, or for our environment, after all? 

I want to say right up front that I am by no means a strict vegan or even a strict vegetarian.  I spend a lot of time on boats at sea with the Coast Guard and, well, let’s just say that they, like most other institutionalized food service organizations, serve a lot of meat and I’d probably go crazy if I limited my food intake to plant-based foods every day.  But I do have a greater awareness these days of what I am eating and I do eat many meals where I forego meat in favor of foods that are not produced from the animal world.  As a result, I feel that I may be lengthening my life a bit, and I truly believe that eating less meat has given me more, not less, energy as I work my busy days.  In addition, I also believe that eating less meat contributes to a global cause that could ultimately have many positive impacts on our world.  Some of you may read this and think that I’m simply a crazy liberal for thinking this way, but I hope that you’ll keep reading so you’ll understand where I’m coming from here. 

Consider how animals are processed for food in this day and age.  The techniques aren’t really publicized because if the practices involved in factory farming were well-known, there would be a whole lot less meat sold.  Sixty or seventy years ago, animals that were raised for food grew up on farms and were treated more or less humanely before they were sent to slaughter.  However, as our population has boomed since the 1950s, farming has moved from family enterprises to big corporate business.  Today, many animals raised for human consumption never see the light of day and are raised without ever moving out of their cages except when they are being prepared to be killed for food.  That means they stand around in their own waste for their entire lives.   In addition, they are given drugs so they grow quicker because time, after all, is money.  Animals raised under these conditions have no quality of life and may well be spreading viruses they incur while they are alive to the humans that consume them.

Despite what most of us have been led to believe, one doesn’t need to consume animal-based foods to obtain enough protein for their bodies to be strong and healthy.  There are plenty of plant-based foods that may be eaten that will provide more than enough protein for even the most active athlete.  In fact, animal-based foods can elevate bad cholesterol levels and cause other health issues for humans, including heart disease and stroke.  Studies have demonstrated that as people living in developing countries are better able to regularly add meat to their diets, their general health deteriorates.  They become obese and they develop the same sorts of diseases we Americans have been dealing with for the past fifty years.

A third benefit of eating plant-based foods is that they take less of a toll on our environment.  It takes a lot more grain to feed a cow every day in order to fatten it up so that it can be steak one day than it does to simply feed that grain to people.  Every day, animal food manufacturers are deforesting land all over this planet in order to create more room to grow plants that will be fed to animals that we will eventually eat, rather than feeding those plants to us directly.  Many view this practice as an inefficient use of resources that could be utilized to better feed all of the people of the world instead of just the ones in developed countries. 

I don’t expect you to read this and suddenly change your mind about how and what you eat.  Even if the information contained here does cause you concern, old habits die hard and I would be the first to tell you that it’s damned difficult to give up food that one has grown up with his entire life.  I would invite you, however, to do your own research so you can at least be informed about how animal-based foods are ultimately harming our planet and how greater consumption of plant-based foods can ultimately make us, and our world, a healthier place. 

 

 

Nutrition Matters!

I am just wrapping up teaching an online course for Endicott College on the psychology of adulthood and aging and, as always, I have probably learned as much as my students. As I conducted my research for the course, I read about an array of topics including vocation, self concept, midlife crisis, and the importance of keeping both the mind and the body active in later years. I have also learned about how depression can sometimes occur in folks who find themselves less able to participate in activities they took for granted in earlier years. Naturally, all of this information is interesting to me because I am committed to not only keeping myself healthy and active, but sharing information with you to help you do the same.

 So, what about nutrition? How does the food we ingest affect our psychological and physical health? I throw this question out there because I strongly believe that we are what we eat. No, that doesn't mean that you're a cow if you eat steak, but I would surmise that our overall health is largely dependent on the decisions we make regarding our diet. I am not here to preach the benefits of any one specific diet because, after all, it's up to you to decide how to eat, just as it's up to you to decide how much you're going to exercise or whether you're going to use tobacco, alcohol, or recreational drugs. I will recommend, however, that you take a look at some of the research that has been conducted by scientists such as Caldwell Esselstyn, M.D., Dr. Joseph Crowe, and Dr. T. Colin Campbell regarding the benefits of eating a whole foods plant-based diet. Just a few short years ago, I thought people who limited their caloric intake to foods from plants were most likely tree hugging wusses who neurotically cared more about nonhuman animals than they did about their fellow man. In 2010, though, I had occasion to watch a DVD called "Eating" that very clearly demonstrates the benefits of eating a plant based diet, as well as, the hazards of consuming foods derived from animals. The most important messages in this film are:

 - People whose diets include animal byproducts regularly suffer greater instances of cancer and heart disease than people who consume little or no foods derived from animals;

 - It has been scientifically proven that it is possible in many cases to actually reduce symptoms related to certain diseases and chronic diseases by switching to a whole foods, plant-based diet; and

 - Contrary to popular belief, there are many other foods besides meat that can supply the human body with all of the protein it needs.

 I think it's important to state here that, like most of us in the U.S., I was raised on beef, chicken, pork fish, and dairy products, and I really wasn't too sure I wanted to give up these beloved foods even after learning what I had learned from watching "Eating" and doing some subsequent research. However, I decided to begin slowly and simply eat one meal a day that didn't contain foods from animals. By the way, staying away from animal-free foods is easier if one prepares the food himself because one can never be sure just what the heck restaurants are putting in their menu choices. Is it hard to eat less meat, chicken, fish, and dairy products? I would answer this question by saying that each person's relationship with food is different and thus the challenge that accompanies any dietary change is different for each individual as well. I can tell you that it is easier if you have a friend or a family member who is willing to join you on your journey.

Commitment to any change, dietary or otherwise, requires inspiration and discipline. You can keep yourself inspired by reading literature or viewing video that discusses the benefits that result from healthy eating, and by surrounding yourself with people who share the same beliefs you do. You can also gain inspiration by keeping a journal in which you record your food intake, as well as, your thoughts and feelings before, during, and after you eat.

 One final note about commitment: many people tend to give up after a slip-up, and tell themselves they just can't do it. Listen, it's okay to give in to temptation sometimes. We are humans, after all, which means we're going to screw up. The important thing to remember is that the benefits of change don't disappear simply because we decide to gorge on a double cheeseburger with all of the fixings on a Friday night. The benefits remain, and they can be yours if you simply recommit and renew your resolution to eat with your health in mind.

 How am I doing with my eating habits, you may ask? I have my good days and my not-so-good days. While I have definitely eaten less animal foods and processed foods since seeing that film in 2010, I sometimes give myself permission to eat stuff that isn't good for my body but tastes fantastic. So, while I occasionally lose the battle, I feel like I am making progress in the war.

I'll end by saying that eating healthier will give you more energy, and that's the whole point of this blog.  As always, I wish you the best in your quest for good health and happiness!

Scott