We’re rolling along
like a freight train toward the holiday season.
In fact, many would say it was already here. I walked through the mall last week on my way
to get a haircut and was mildly surprised to see all of the holiday decorations
on display. What’s your plan for the
holidays? Have you figured out what (and
when) you are going to buy for whom?
Most importantly, have you figured out how you are going to keep your
stress levels in check as you spend money, fight the crowds, and visit the
family?
Over the last month, I have been discussing motivation with
my students. Rather than discussing how
one obtains the motivation to begin a project or conquer a challenge, we have
been focusing on how one can actually sustain motivation. This topic came about because many of my
students these days are incarcerated at the Norfolk County House of Correction and
have shared their difficulties with being able to remain in recovery from their
various addictions despite the best of intentions. Today, I would like to share with you some of
the reasons they gave me for losing their motivation, and then I’ll share some
of their thoughts about how to sustain motivation.
Why Do People Lose
Motivation?
Here are some of the psychological motivation killers offered
by my students last month:
1)
Stress – This
was, by far, the most frequently mentioned motivation murderer in every class
session. Several people agreed that
while it was easy to get motivated for change initially, it was difficult to
sustain motivation as they were faced with the challenges and pressures of
everyday life. These challenges included
finances, employment searches, and relationships, to name a few.
2)
Energy
Levels – Some men shared that they often found that their motivation waned
as they experienced fatigue. It seems
that the fatigue could be either psychological or physical and could be caused
by erratic sleep patterns, physical exertion, or boredom.
3)
Other
Priorities – Inadequate planning and poor time management were offered up
as issues related to challenges with sustaining motivation. We often have a lot of things we have to
accomplish, and sometimes these tasks with the activities we want to do. Unless we plan accordingly and effectively
plan our priorities, our project or endeavor may be pushed to the side in favor
of tasks of lesser importance.
4)
Work –
Unless we are collecting social security or disability or we are independently
wealthy, we are all obligated to work until we reach retirement age or
die. The time we spend at work, and the
time we spend commuting to work, can sap us of the time and energy required to
accomplish our goals and objectives.
5)
Relationships
– Some of the men that participated in the brainstorming sessions mentioned
that women often got in the way of their ability to sustain their motivation,
but most agreed that we could broaden that out a bit and include relationships
in general. Dysfunctional relationships
can affect our moods, which in turn can affect our ability to sustain our
motivation to do what we need to do in order to achieve what we set out to
accomplish.
6)
Addictions
/ Compulsive Behaviors – These can include addictions to drugs or alcohol, or
compulsive behaviors that include internet usage, video games, overeating,
frequent sex, shopping, or even working.
We often fall back on addictions and compulsive behaviors in order to
avoid the hard work of those tasks that can be truly meaningful once we see
them through.
7)
Self-Defeatist
Attitude – In my discussions with students, we ended up labeling this
obstacle many different names including “cognitive distortions,” “seemingly
unimportant decisions (SUDS),” and “stinking thinking,” to name a few. All of these terms refer to the negative
things we say to ourselves that then allow us to push back the things we must
do to reach our goals.
8)
Need for
Instant Gratification – Increasingly, we are a society that demands what we
want when we want it and we are often unwilling to put in the time and the
energy to work for what we desire to achieve.
We become impatient when we do not see results immediately and then we
often give up on our goals.
9)
Fear of
Failure / Success – Sometimes we fail to maintain our motivation because we
fear failure. We may have failed many
times in the past and we doubt our ability to succeed or we may buy into
others’ opinions about our chances for success.
Conversely, we may fear success because we may wonder if we will really
enjoy attaining our goals or end up longing for our old lifestyle.
10)
Failure
to Plan – Many fail because they have not taken the time to strategically
plan to succeed. Failure to plan, many
people have said, is the same thing as planning to fail.
What Are Strategies
We Can Employ to Better Sustain Our Motivation?
1)
Probably the most important strategy is to
commit to your goal. It may not be
enough to simply declare it to yourself; many have found it helpful to declare
their goal to at least one other person.
2)
Create a strategic plan and expect it to be
dynamic, meaning the plan may have to be adjusted because life is unpredictable
and situations may change.
3)
Write down your goals and objectives. This will help you to visualize your
goal. The clearer you can see it, the
easier it will be to achieve it.
4)
Create daily reminders and make sure you look at
them every day. This will help you to
keep your “eyes on the prize.”
5)
Be grateful, every day. Remember that whatever challenges you are
facing, you are alive to face them and that’s worth savoring each day we are
alive.
6)
Maintain positivity. You won’t succeed if you don’t believe in
your ability to succeed. Some ways to
stay positive include surrounding yourself with other people who have positive
attitudes.
7)
Practice discipline. Develop a routine that focuses on daily tasks
that, with consistency, will lead you toward your goal.
8)
Establish a daily routine in which you structure
your time around taking care of whatever needs to be addressed in order to make
things happen.
9)
Learn to prioritize the things you need to do
versus the things you want to do. All
too often, we tend to gravitate to those things we like to do when we should be
focusing on more productive behaviors.
It’s worth remembering that there is always a sense of accomplishment
when we are able to check off an important task off of our “to do” list.
10)
Seek out support. Get over your reluctance to asking for
assistance when you need it. There is
rarely a need to invent the wheel if it already exists and odds are that there
are at least some people out there that have accomplished what you seek to
complete. Build your support system and
remember that giving back is just as important as receiving help from
others.
11)
Reward yourself for accomplishing your objectives. This tip is sort of tricky, because
there is a danger of going overboard with your rewards. While you are celebrating your
accomplishments, never lose sight of what still remains to be done in order to
complete and sustain your goal.
Obviously, there is a lot more we could add to these
lists. What challenges do you face when
you strive to accomplish your goals?
What strategies have worked for you as you have worked to sustain your
motivation? Leave a comment! Thanks for reading.
